The Emperor Has No Lab Coat

Why Claims of Satellite Sea Level Precision are Exposing Science as Narrative, not Measurement.

In my earlier piece, "Adjusting Reality," I outlined how climate science has veered into a realm where data is bent to meet narrative, rather than narrative being shaped by data. Today, I want to dig deeper… not into the sea level measurements themselves, but into the claimed precision of those measurements. Because if you're wondering why trust in science is collapsing, this is Exhibit A.

Let’s start with a quote that perfectly frames what we’re dealing with (often misattributed to Mark Twain, who himself credited it to British Prime Minister Benjamin Disraeli):

"There are three kinds of lies: lies, damned lies, and statistics." — Benjamin Disraeli

Nowhere is that more appropriate than in the world of satellite-based sea level measurements, where statistical manipulation is being used to give a false sense of certainty to deeply uncertain data.

The Absurd Claim

A 2021 paper published in Advances in Space Research claims that satellites orbiting at 1,336 km can detect global sea level acceleration of 0.095 ± 0.009 mm/yr². That’s nine microns or 0.354 thousandths of an inch.

To put that in perspective for you: a human hair is about 70 microns thick. These authors claim they can detect a change that is roughly 1/8 the width of a hair, per year, from hundreds of miles above Earth’s surface, looking down at a surface in constant motion… sloshing with tides, winds, waves, atmospheric pressure, and thermal expansion.

A visual comparison of particle sizes: Human hair (50–70 µm), fine beach sand (~90 µm), and air pollutants like PM10 (<10 µm) and PM2.5 (<2.5 µm). The claimed sea level acceleration precision of 0.009 mm (or 9 µm) is on the scale of these microscopic particles—smaller than the dust we breathe and 1/8th the width of a single human hair. Yet we’re told satellites 1,300 km above Earth can reliably detect it. Believe that? Source: https://www.epa.gov/pm-pollution/particulate-matter-pm-basics

Imagine standing on a rooftop in a windstorm trying to measure the rise of a ripple in a swimming pool using a laser pointer through a fogged-up window. Now make the pool the ocean, the rooftop a wobbling satellite, and the ripple the basis for climate policy. That’s where we are.

What ESA and NASA Actually Say About Precision

According to ESA, Sentinel-6, one of the most advanced altimetry satellites, has a sea surface height measurement accuracy of <4 cm. NASA echoes similar numbers, claiming satellite altimetry achieves 2.5 to 4 cm accuracy over the global oceans.

So let’s be clear: they’re detecting micron-scale accelerations using instruments with centimeter-scale noise. That’s a factor of 1,000 between the noise and the signal. Even with years of averaging, extensive noise filtering, and meticulous data modeling, this veers between pseudoscience at best and scientific fraud at worst.

🔒 The rest of this piece is for subscribers only. If you're ready to see exactly how these absurd claims are constructed, and why they're eroding trust in science, subscribe below.